Things not to do on a first date:

1. Bring along a friend

No, no, no, no, no.

2. Expect your date to foot the bill

Always, always go Dutch. Let this be the bill that sets the tone for the relationship and let this relationship be an equal one.

3. Talk about sex

The old rules that stipulate you mustn’t talk about politics and religion are out, but you should still avoid talking about sex. This is because it will only serve to remind your date that there have been lovers before them, which – rightly or wrongly – feels a tiny bit icky on a first date. So no sex chat. Unless, of course, you decide to actually have sex on the first date, in which case some conversation about the deed is required, otherwise it could potentially fall outside the laws of consent.

4. Interview your date

Please don’t ask your date where they see themselves in five years’ time, or what motivates them. It’s supposed to be a date; not an excruciating work appraisal meeting.

5. Come over too keen

Flirting is one thing, but don’t wander into ‘I’ve never felt this way about anyone before’ territory on the very first date. Equally, talk of marriage, babies, how all your friends are settling down and you feel left out etc. etc. is off the cards. Stay cool.

6. Talk about your ex

Or anyone you’ve slept with. Just don’t go there under any circumstances. Even if your ex walks into your date venue and the sheer coincidence of it all makes you want to call them over. Even if they choose to sit down next to you and start talking to you and they say your name in front of your date and it’s perfectly obvious you know each other. DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE THE EX.

7. Wear something inappropriate

Men, don’t wear anything that could p0tentially embarrass your date, like scruffy trainers or an offensive t-shirt. And ladies, this applies to you too. A good rule is: don’t wear anything you wouldn’t wear to work. Unless you wear a uniform to work. Don’t wear a uniform on the first date – it’s too early for that.

8. Get too drunk

Enjoying a bit of a tipple before or during your date is not a terrible idea – frankly, anything to take the edge off potential first date awkwardness is a winner in my book. But know your limits, because there’s nothing worse than finding yourself on a date with someone who has alcohol-induced verbal diarrhoea, or who is dribbling onto a beer mat. It can be a tricky one to judge, but basically, you want to stop before you start doing vomit-burps.